Strategic Guidance
for High-Stakes Decisions
Divorce Strategy Advisor
Divorce is happening. You need a strategy, not sympathy.
Everything is a mess: finances, logistics, timelines. People have words, social media has soundbites, gurus speak to your pain, but no one has a plan for your situation.
Therapists want you to process emotions. Lawyers want to prepare for battle. Friends mean well but don't understand the mechanics.
I wrote Divorce Emergency Protocol for this exact moment.
I've seen this play out hundreds of times. I know the mistakes that cost you years of regret, the fights that waste your energy, and the decisions that actually matter.
This isn't therapy. This isn't legal advice. This is strategy.
I help you find what's practical and fair in the short term, what won't haunt you in the long term, and what lets you build an independent life free from the shadow of this divorce.
One session to map your situation.
You'll leave knowing what you're dealing with, what your real options are, and whether I'm the right person to help you navigate this.
This is NOT therapy. I'm not here to process your emotions or help you grieve. (Therapists do that, and you might need one)
This is NOT legal advice. I can't represent you in court or draft your separation agreement. (Lawyers do that and you might need one. I'll tell you when.)
This IS strategic decision support. I help you:
Understand what you're actually negotiating (assets, debt, custody, support)
Know what's fair vs. what's fantasy
Design a co-parenting plan that doesn't implode in 6 months
Communicate with your spouse without losing your mind
Avoid the mistakes people make in the first 90 days (they're expensive)
Decide when you need a lawyer, mediator, or therapist, and when you don't
Build a roadmap from "this is chaos" to "I know what I'm doing"
What makes this different: I treat divorce as a design problem, not an emotional crisis. You're not broken. Your system is. Let's rebuild it.
MS, MBA, CCF, JDR, GDC
I'm AJ Maddeny. I've guided 500+ people through divorce over 6+ years as a mediator, conflict strategist, and decision scientist. I've worked with federal employees navigating TSP/pension splits, dual-income professionals dividing complex assets, parents designing co-parenting plans that actually work, and executives managing high-stakes separations discretely.
I'm the author of Divorce Emergency Protocol and Spousing: How Love Survives Marriage. I hold advanced degrees in Conflict Analysis, Decision Science, and Business Strategy. I've mediated DC Police complaints for 6+ years. I know how systems break — and how to rebuild them.
I don't do therapy. I don't practice law. I work with you to think strategically.
AJ Maddeny
We're a good fit if:
You're past the initial shock and ready to start planning a strategy
You want actionable guidance, not hand-holding
You're seeking insights and knowledge to avoid real-world divorce pitfalls
You're navigating a high-stakes or complex divorce (federal benefits, business ownership, high assets, difficult co-parenting dynamics)
You're comfortable with online video meeting over Zoom
We're NOT a good fit if:
You're looking for someone to fight for you (lawyers are best)
You need emotional support and validation (therapists are perfect)
You want me to tell you what you want to hear (I will tell you what you need to hear)
You're not ready to do the work (homework, frameworks, hard conversations)
Having mediation was way better than I had expected. I was nervous going in with it but AJ was very patient, extremely thorough & straight to the point. He took all of the extra stress off of this process. We really appreciate the assistance thank you!
Adam made a challenging process clear and supportive as possible.
We worked with Adam at Aether Mediation to facilitate our separation agreement. Adam's composed demeanor was really instrumental in guiding both parties to reach a mutual understanding of points of disagreements.
Even after drafting the agreement, we had several differences and we went back and forth with Adam and asked him to support the new edition and revision, and he was so kind to complete the changes with no additional charges to us.
While I consider our case not to be complicated in nature, the personalities involved and the level of emotion was making it extremely difficult to reach an agreement, and here where Adam played an invaluable role and helped both parties reach a level of confidence in the process and in the agreement. I can't be thankful enough to all of Adam's help.